Top 10 Names in College Football: Rob Gronkowski, Dave Portnoy Reveal Their List

Dave Portnoy and Rob Gronkowski brought the laughs and the heat on Saturday’s “Big Noon Kickoff” as they unveiled their “Top 10 Names in College Football” list.

From clever wordplay to pure chaos, the duo turned a simple segment into a comedy show—proving once again that when Portnoy and Gronk team up, it’s anything but ordinary.

Here’s a look at their list, counting down from 10-to-1:

10. Legend Journey, DL, Cal

Gronkowski: “He journeyed from Arlington, Texas, to Cal. I feel like he will have a 12-year NFL career with 12 different teams, and everyone will love him in the locker room.”

9. Da’Realyst Clark, WR, Kent State

Gronkowski: “He might be “Da’Realyst” but he also might be “Da’Smallest” at 150 pounds.”

Portnoy: Yeah. I wonder what happens if you’re not an athlete and you walk around an office building with a name like Da’Realyst.”

T-7. D-Icey Hopkins, S, Georgia State and Decoldest Crawford, WR, Butler CC

Gronkowski: “Decoldest is De Coldest, and he signed an NIL deal with an air conditioning unit in 2022.”

Portnoy: “You gotta get the diamond company with that. You gotta go diamonds over AC.”

6. Memorable Factor, LB, Duke

Gronkowski: “He’s from London, England, but he hasn’t been too memorable on the field this year: Zero snaps.”

Portnoy: “Yeah, you gotta be better if you’ve got the name “Memorable.”

5. King Large, OL, SMU

Gronkowski: “He lives up to this name. He’s listed at 6-foot-4, 316 pounds.”
 

T-3. Grant Beerman, LB, Illinois and Rocky Beers, TE, Colorado State

Gronkowski: “Grant, unfortunately he’s not old enough to drink legally, he’s only 19. But, Rocky is.”

Portnoy: “You were never drinking before you were 21?”

2. Dude Person, Central Arkansas, DB

Portnoy: “This guy shouldn’t be No. 2. Dude Person? That shouldn’t be in the top 10.”

1. Mark Gronowski, QB, Iowa

Gronkowski: “This name is almost perfect. … I gotta do some investigating.”

Portnoy: “He’s like one of the 18 Gronkowski brothers, so yeah, I don’t hate that.”

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